ok so i was pretty high the other day. and i talked to a good friend who made me realize alotta shit about myself. so here it is.

im deryck! u all kno that. you all kno me and you kno how i am. for the past year(ish) ive been listening to the wrong people. lettin other people's words change how i think about myself. there's several things about me that i like alot and i dont plan on changing for anyone else.

one. i just started going to parties(often) and being (cool) my senior year. the other 3 years i spent workin my ass off with school, piano, and band (yes band). i ddnt go partyin evry weekend. i ddnt talk to a grip of girls. i ddnt hang out and smoke weed and bullshit after school evryday cuz i had HOMEWORK and my mom actually cared whether or not i was home. so i ddnt have the liberty of doin wat i wanted evryday.

two. since when does screwin a bunch of girls that dont mean shit to you make you cool? i mean i believe in fuckin dont get me wrong but jesus christ have some principles. forreal.

three. im skinny. so wat. being big n buff when ur young is all fine and dandy but once u get old. and you have a job and responsibilities and well... AGE ur urge or ability to stay fit lessens. and u get fat. i would like to be relatively slim when i get old. im thinkin long term. i have fast metabolism and im not an emotional eater which means im not likely to get alot bigger unless i actually try. so if im still a skinny dude 10 yrs from now, ill consider hittin the weights hardcore.

four. my swagg. is my swagg. not urs. so dont worry about it. please. when i say i dont care i REALLY DONT CARE. i dont dress like a bum so im fine. comin fitted like i got a grip of money to waste on clothes WHEN I DONT is just sad.

NOW FOR MY LAST AND FINAL POINT im not a fuckin athlete. i was in the band. and what pisses me off about people who have no musical talent and diss the band is that they dont realize the NOT EVRYONE can be an athlete. just like not evryone can be a musician. or and artist. or anything. u gotta find wat ur good at. i happend to be good at music. but instead of people respecting that. IM TALKIN TO ATHLETES you talk shit. but lemme give a little peice of info that might rock ur feeble little minds. i spent 2 yrs in marching band. in those 2 yrs i developed alot of musical skills that helped my piano playin and composition. with those skills (and my grades) i was ACCEPTED into the UC Santa Barbara school of music. MOST of the jocks at colony high school do not go on to play ball in college. why? usually grades. or theyr just not good enough. but hey they wanna be cool so they join a sport. fine. but then they wanna turn around and talk shit about me being in band when they eithr ARENT going to a real college. or only got into one because of a connection. i may not have been the coolest kid in highschool but guess wat? im in college now. which is the point of SCHOOL. and now for some NUMBERS. 55% of black boys in southern cali graduate from highschool. of that 55% oonly 43% go to college. of that 43% only HALF graduate. now if that doesnt sound bad that means about 12% of black boys ONLY 12% graduate from college. hmmm. now lets do another numbers game shall we? 75% of black boys play sports in high school. of those 75% about 1% gets drafted into a proffessional league. OUCH. so let me get to the point. in my opinion. wasting my time and energy playing bbal or football in highschool when im not good enough to be in the nba or nfl, nor am i even remotely passionate about playing sports is just very STUPID. now by all means. if u wanna play sports. GO AHEAD but dont talk shit about anything that anybody else does because not everyone can get fucking DRAFTED.

so wats the point of all this. like i said. im deryck. i do things the way i do them. i dont wanna be like anybody else so i dont try. i nevr try to be something im not. i culda spent my whol 4 yrs in highschool bein cool and tryn to fit in. but wat good would that do. so i could look back and say damn. highschool was the best 4 yrs of my life. how pathetic. i figure i have about 60 or 70 yrs. so why would i want to live for a measly 4 that happend before i was even 20??? haha. by all means live for the moment. but dont forget about the future. yea u could die tomoro. but u also might not. think about that. im not tryna preach to you im just lettin you kno that i dont think the same way most people do. so if u dont like the way deryck carter does deryck carter. you can fuck off. cuz im not you. you're not me. and just cuz ur different doesnt mean ur better. so thats all i gotta say. bon voyage muthafuckas.